I heard a concert promotion on the radio for the indie-rock band, We Were Promised Jetpacks, and realized we have the wrong people in charge of naming brands.
If rock musicians named new products, we would be spared forgettable and hard-to-pronounce monikers like Accenture and Eukanuba.
Instead, we would be driving Blue Oyster Cult cars and drinking Toad The Wet Sprocket beer. We’d bank at They Might Be Giants and buy insurance from Built To Spill. We’d enjoy dinner at The Flaming Lips.
Here’s a representative list of poor brand-name choices:
- Bing
- iSnack 2.0,an Australian cheese spread
- Syfy
- VIA, Starbucks’ instant coffee
- Depends
- Ruth’s Chris Steak House
- Acloché
- CompUSA
- Vonage
- Comerica
- iPad
- Ayds
- Cranergy
- DHL
- Touareg
- Noxzema
- Comerica
- Anextec
- Cialis
- GEICO,
- Xfinity
- Xe, formerly Blackwater
- Altria, formerly Philip Morris
- Airtran
- Tiguan
Compare the above with this list of creative and memorable rock band names:
- Psychedelic Furs
- Dinosaur Jr.
- Violent Femmes
- Velvet Underground
- Meat Puppets
- Romeo Void
- Guided By Voices
- Queens Of The Stone Age
- Camper Van Beethoven
- Fine Young Cannibals
- Moby Grape
- Country Joe And The Fish
- TV On The Radio
- Porno For Pyros
- Foghat
- Spandau Ballet
- Strawberry Alarm Clock
- Captain Beefheart
- Faith No More
- Echo And The Bunnymen
- Crowded House
- Arcade Fire
- Death Cab For Cutie
- Daft Punk
- Pink Floyd
- Pearl Jam
- Radiohead
- Hot Tuna
Now tell me. Which set captures your attention?
If I were to vote for best band names, in my opinion number one is Velvet Underground, second is Spandau Ballet, third is Pink Floyd, fourth is Pearl Jam, and fifth is Radiohead.
My list of worst brand names:
1.Syfy
2.Bing
3.Vonage
4.Noxzema
5.Ayds
Interesting points, Kirk!
Being an Noxzema fan forever I take exception to the name (brand loyalist!) Answers.com states that Noxzema’s name is a possible derivative of, “No” and “Eczema” which would be rather clever then. Yes?
Your point regarding band names is an ongoing debate. In doing research for an upcoming blog post, I read wsj.com’s recent article, “From ABBA to ZZ Top, All the Good Band Names Are Taken” http://on.wsj.com/aChTgO on how many same/similar band names are out there thus the difficulty in creating awareness. The band’s names you highlighted are a great example of the range of creativity. Perhaps you should post a link to this post on their comment page!
Best-
Joy
But Olay and Pond’s sound much more soothing. However, loyalty abides! Thanks, Joy!