Every year since 1976, Lake Superior State University has released its annual list of “Words Banished from the Queen’s English for Misuse, Overuse and General Uselessness.”
From the all-time list, I found many clichés used in marketing. Below are a few examples with some comments from the nominators:
All new “Of course it’s all new. Why can’t they just say ‘new’?”
And more! “Everything marketed can be something else! ‘It’s a hamburger meal, but it’s much, much more! It’s a time machine, too!’”
Ask for it by name. “As if there’s any other way.”
Ask your doctor “I don’t think my doctor would appreciate my calling him after seeing a TV ad.”
Awesome “That a mop, a deodorant or a dating service can be called ‘awesome’ demonstrates the limited vocabularies of the country’s copywriters.”
Best kept secret “What has happened to confidentiality? It seems that all over the country, important secrets are being revealed. From the West Virginia official state highway map: ‘America’s best-kept secret.’ From a Columbia University brochure: ‘Columbia University’s best kept secrets are the great job opportunities at Columbia Dining Services.’ Or ‘one of snowmobiling’s best kept secrets: Marquette, Michigan.’ Are we really hearing confessions of previously incompetent advertising?”
Close to everything “In the middle of a commercial area.”
Designer “Jeans, blouses, perfume, coats, windows. A designer is the one who plans who designs, who makes original sketches, patterns, scenes. If someone actually drew upon your entire lower body then you could claim to display designer jeans, or a massive tattoo.”
Epic “I’m sure that when the history books are written or updated and stories have been passed through the generations, the epic powder on the slopes during your last ski trip or your participation in last night’s epic flash mob will probably not be included. This may be the root of this epic problem, but it seems as if during the past two years, any idea that was not successful was considered an ‘epic-fail.’ This includes the PowerPoint presentation you tried to give during this morning’s meeting, but couldn’t because of technical problems. Also, the ice storm of ‘epic proportions’ that is blanketing the east coast this winter sure looks a lot like the storm that happened last winter.”
Extreme “Razors aren’t extreme. Neither are deodorants or cheeseburgers.”
Farm-fresh “The downwind ‘freshness’ of many farms reveals this is an ill-chosen term.”
Fresh-baked “How else do you bake it?”
First annual “One might hope this event becomes an annual occurrence, but until the second year, it isn’t annual! Use inaugural, premiere, debut, or first.”
Foreign imports “If these have had such a devastating impact on our economy, I shudder to think about the dire consequence of domestic imports.”
Gourmet “What, or whom, does ‘gourmet-flavor’ cat food taste like?”
Healthy food “If my (tuna steak) lunch were healthy, it would still be swimming somewhere. Grilled and nestled in salad greens, it’s ‘healthful.’”
In these economic times “Aren’t all times ‘these economic times’?”
(Blank) is the new (blank). “In spite of statements to the contrary, ‘Cold is (not) the new hot,’ nor is ’70 the new 50.’ Or, to phrase it another way, ‘Originally clever advertising is now the new absurdity!’”
It’s all good. “If the speaker is talking about a huge chocolate dessert buffet, then it is ‘all good.’”
It’s that time of year again. “When is it not ‘that time of year again?’ From Valentine’s sales to year-end charity letters, invitations to summer picnics and Christmas parties, it’s ‘that time of year again.’ Just get to the point.”
Live life to the fullest. “It’s an absurdity followed by a redundancy. First, things are full or they’re not; there is no fullest. Second, ‘live life’ is redundant. Finally, the expression is nauseatingly overused. What’s wrong with enjoying life fully or completely?”
The more you buy, the more you save.“Well, honey, how much should I buy?” “Gee, I don’t know, sugarplum. Just keep buying until you think you have saved enough.”
No-brainer “Who doesn’t have the brain in this transaction? You or me?”
Now, more than ever “It has become over-used since the terrorist attacks … from warnings to be safe, to stores having sales.”
One of the only “Either it is the only one or it is one of the few.”
Organic “Overused and misused to describe not only food, but computer products or human behavior, and often used when describing something as ‘natural.’”
Pass the savings on to you! “Read: Pass the markup along to you.”
(Blank) percent pure “Either it’s pure, or it isn’t.”
Solutions “The Banishment Committee pines for the days when our economy offered merely goods and services.”
State of the art “‘Latest design’ or ‘modern’ would suffice.”
To die for “If something is that good, shouldn’t it be ‘to live for?’”
World-class “… has come to mean everything … and nothing.”
Your call is very important to us. “If my call was really important, there would be a real live person to answer the phone.”
Zero percent APR financing “They could just say ‘no interest.’”
Which clichés can you add to this awesome list?